Alexandermen (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} alexandermen) wrote,@ 2007-11-24 09:08:00 |
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II-8 Preparation for Confession
This, passed on by Fr. Alexis Vinogradov, is an examination of
conscience by Fr Alexander Men as preparation for receiving
confession. I have been told by people who heard him that when
it came time to speak privately they would say 'you have said
everything Father, I have nothing left to say you have expressed
my condition exactly.'
Preparation for Confession
Father Alexander Men
1. What was my general emotional state? Was it light, dark,
changing, what condition prevailed? Have any new reasons appeared
which can explain this emotional state? Or is it not possible to
identify the reasons: why not? Was there a feeling of strange
tribulation, of inexplicable unrest, of nagging uncertainty, a
feeling of weakness and ebbing of strength, somehow connected with
faith and with prayer?
2. What was dominant: the feeling that certain losses took
place, or a feeling of something gained? Was there a feeling of
serious misfortune in life or of good fortune? If something of this
kind occurred, let us put the question before us: what do we consider
(in the depth of our soul) as fortune and misfortune, is it possible
to deduce a personal lesson from one or the other in connection with
our faith? Does our personal faith find confirmation in such events?
3. Has it happened to you that you have had to review your life
in the following way: is it a life filled with joy, happiness, and
deep satisfaction? Should these feelings, in fact, exist, is it
worth spending energy to acquire them? Why? Isn't life limited by
the division of "I would like" and "but I shouldn't" or "I ought
to"? If so, why do we so easily give in to surrounding necessities
of life in the face of our right to have joy and happiness, a right
to certain "delight" in life?
4. In what circumstances was it most difficult for us to be
honest and open in our thoughts and emotions, in our feelings? Did
this have some relationship to an external ideological need or to the
witness of our faith or to something else? Do you find it difficult
to be yourself in "usual" circumstances, when there is no demand or
choice in fundamental life questions? At this moment what is it that
"draws" you most, and what is it that attracted you before? Why?
5. Have you developed an inner feeling of freedom with regard to
the circumstances of life? Have you succeeded in being less
oppressed by them, or have you not? Why? Have faith and prayer been
helpful here? Or where there other supports?
6. If the situation of life, a problem, a person, a group or an
organization are troubling you - constricting you, making demands, --
how are you inclined to react, to accept, to enter the struggle? Do
you become angry, fall into despair, into hatred or to
submission? Why? Does such a reaction bear any relation to your
faith? Is it related to your hope in God, to a feeling of your own
dignity? Do you find in your life a desire for struggle and courage?
7. When your time is your own, what do you tend to do:
a) to further your isolation or to end it?
b) to let your thoughts drift to practical concerns, to focusing on
your emotional wolves, thinking about the past or concerns for the
future? Why? In the course of such thoughts you find peace,
turmoil, sadness, inspiration? Why? In such circumstances do you
consider the conditions and goals of your life in the context of your
faith? You find yourself drawn to prayer? What you have to force
yourself to do these things?
8. Do you have a close friend in life? Why has such a
friendship become possible or why is it not occurring? If not, does
some collective group replace such friendship? Or is there another reason?
9. Describe yourself as you would like to be seen, and your
friends, as you would like to see them? Why? Now describe another
image - how you actually see yourself, life, friends. Where is the
discrepancy? Why? Should this discrepancy be abolished? Why? In what ways?
10. Are there frequently events in your life which you wish to
begin or which you succeeded in beginning with prayer? Why?
11. Is your basic vocation clear to you? If someone were to ask
you, how would you describe it? Are you successful in realizing
it? What gets in the way? If Christ were to suddenly ask you, what
you consider the fundamental purpose and fruit of your life, what
would you say?
12. Have you succeeded in doing things in life out of love,
without any other conditions? If yes or no, why? What lessons have
you learned through your success or failure in this work of
love? With meaning has this had?
13. Have you had to forgive anyone in something serious? Is
there someone or something that you are unable to forgive? Why?
14. When you succeed in formulating a sincere and serious answer
to all the questions, then try to answer the following questions: Do
you sense in your life a clear presence of God, his personal
participation in your activities and destiny? Do you thirst for his
attention and love for you or "in humility" do you expect
little? Have you experienced in your life a call from God directed
directly to you? How was it recognizable? Did you sense the
presence of the Holy Spirit during that time? Was there readiness
and desire to furnish an answer? What actions were you able to take
during that time? Are you able to say that listening to Christ and
the Spirit, you were able to occasionally or at least once overcome
your own resistance, the resistance of your surroundings to love,
towards your vocation, towards holiness, towards God?
This, passed on by Fr. Alexis Vinogradov, is an examination of
conscience by Fr Alexander Men as preparation for receiving
confession. I have been told by people who heard him that when
it came time to speak privately they would say 'you have said
everything Father, I have nothing left to say you have expressed
my condition exactly.'
Preparation for Confession
Father Alexander Men
1. What was my general emotional state? Was it light, dark,
changing, what condition prevailed? Have any new reasons appeared
which can explain this emotional state? Or is it not possible to
identify the reasons: why not? Was there a feeling of strange
tribulation, of inexplicable unrest, of nagging uncertainty, a
feeling of weakness and ebbing of strength, somehow connected with
faith and with prayer?
2. What was dominant: the feeling that certain losses took
place, or a feeling of something gained? Was there a feeling of
serious misfortune in life or of good fortune? If something of this
kind occurred, let us put the question before us: what do we consider
(in the depth of our soul) as fortune and misfortune, is it possible
to deduce a personal lesson from one or the other in connection with
our faith? Does our personal faith find confirmation in such events?
3. Has it happened to you that you have had to review your life
in the following way: is it a life filled with joy, happiness, and
deep satisfaction? Should these feelings, in fact, exist, is it
worth spending energy to acquire them? Why? Isn't life limited by
the division of "I would like" and "but I shouldn't" or "I ought
to"? If so, why do we so easily give in to surrounding necessities
of life in the face of our right to have joy and happiness, a right
to certain "delight" in life?
4. In what circumstances was it most difficult for us to be
honest and open in our thoughts and emotions, in our feelings? Did
this have some relationship to an external ideological need or to the
witness of our faith or to something else? Do you find it difficult
to be yourself in "usual" circumstances, when there is no demand or
choice in fundamental life questions? At this moment what is it that
"draws" you most, and what is it that attracted you before? Why?
5. Have you developed an inner feeling of freedom with regard to
the circumstances of life? Have you succeeded in being less
oppressed by them, or have you not? Why? Have faith and prayer been
helpful here? Or where there other supports?
6. If the situation of life, a problem, a person, a group or an
organization are troubling you - constricting you, making demands, --
how are you inclined to react, to accept, to enter the struggle? Do
you become angry, fall into despair, into hatred or to
submission? Why? Does such a reaction bear any relation to your
faith? Is it related to your hope in God, to a feeling of your own
dignity? Do you find in your life a desire for struggle and courage?
7. When your time is your own, what do you tend to do:
a) to further your isolation or to end it?
b) to let your thoughts drift to practical concerns, to focusing on
your emotional wolves, thinking about the past or concerns for the
future? Why? In the course of such thoughts you find peace,
turmoil, sadness, inspiration? Why? In such circumstances do you
consider the conditions and goals of your life in the context of your
faith? You find yourself drawn to prayer? What you have to force
yourself to do these things?
8. Do you have a close friend in life? Why has such a
friendship become possible or why is it not occurring? If not, does
some collective group replace such friendship? Or is there another reason?
9. Describe yourself as you would like to be seen, and your
friends, as you would like to see them? Why? Now describe another
image - how you actually see yourself, life, friends. Where is the
discrepancy? Why? Should this discrepancy be abolished? Why? In what ways?
10. Are there frequently events in your life which you wish to
begin or which you succeeded in beginning with prayer? Why?
11. Is your basic vocation clear to you? If someone were to ask
you, how would you describe it? Are you successful in realizing
it? What gets in the way? If Christ were to suddenly ask you, what
you consider the fundamental purpose and fruit of your life, what
would you say?
12. Have you succeeded in doing things in life out of love,
without any other conditions? If yes or no, why? What lessons have
you learned through your success or failure in this work of
love? With meaning has this had?
13. Have you had to forgive anyone in something serious? Is
there someone or something that you are unable to forgive? Why?
14. When you succeed in formulating a sincere and serious answer
to all the questions, then try to answer the following questions: Do
you sense in your life a clear presence of God, his personal
participation in your activities and destiny? Do you thirst for his
attention and love for you or "in humility" do you expect
little? Have you experienced in your life a call from God directed
directly to you? How was it recognizable? Did you sense the
presence of the Holy Spirit during that time? Was there readiness
and desire to furnish an answer? What actions were you able to take
during that time? Are you able to say that listening to Christ and
the Spirit, you were able to occasionally or at least once overcome
your own resistance, the resistance of your surroundings to love,
towards your vocation, towards holiness, towards God?
